Last year, I was talking with my mom about parenting and she said “well at least I never made you feel like I didn’t love you”
I proceeded to tell her about a time when I was a kid and she was yelling, screaming, and throwing things, and I said “I love you” in that small timid kid voice and she said
“well I don’t love you right now”
Our relationship was never the same after that and she didn’t even remember that it happened.
The axe never remembers, but the tree never forgets.
to try and destigmatise autism many people say “autism is just another a neurotype” (the implication is that autism is only a disability because of “society”). The argument is often said like this
“well, if you put 2 autistic people in a room they tend to communicate just as well as 2 neurotypical people would, just in their own way!”
And listen, this is partly true. Autistics generally have a much more enjoyable and successful time communicating with other autistics rather than neurotypicals.
It is also true that autism is technically a neurotype.
However, removing the “disabled” part of autism DOES NOT DESTIGMATISE AUTISM.
By removing the word “disabled” from the vocab surrounding autism, you aren’t making autism more socially accepted.
You are trying to make autism more socially ACCEPTABLE FOR OTHERS.
You are removing the parts of autism that make neurotypicals uncomfortable (high support needs, unnappealing traits, gross stims, etc.) to make autism seem like this nice, quirky, personality type.
The reason this is super problematic is because for majority of autistics, autism is super disabling in many aspects of their life. The reality is that even if we lived on an island with only other autistic people, most of us would still be disabled.
Not only would we likely still have troubles with communication BUT - we would also still have issues with sensory processing disorder, dyspraxia, auditory processing disorder, chronic illness such as IBS, burn out, meltdowns, shutdowns, ARFID, executive dysfunction, etc.
Autism is an extremely pervasive disability for many autistic people and it can seriously affect every aspect of your life.
Trying to re-package autism in a way that makes neurotypicals comfortable is not destigmatising autism.
The only way to destigmatise autism (and other disabilities) is to continue to educate people on the disability, and to continue to fight against the societal ideals that disability and dependence on others are morally wrong traits.
autistic people are often said to have no empathy, but another autistic trait is to be hyper-empathetic. in fact, you could have lower empathy with humans, yet be hyper-empathetic for something else.
so, autistics, what is something you are hyper-empathetic about?
for me, one thing i am hyper-empathetic about is my stuffies. i will often take turns cuddling each of them because i think they will get sad if i don’t hug them all. another thing i’m hyper-empathetic about are odd numbers. i’ve always liked odd numbers more than even numbers because i feel like most people like even numbers, and the odd numbers might feel left out. plus odd numbers are kinda cool. that’s just a couple examples, but anyways, what is something you are hyper-empathetic about? reblog and let me know!
a neuropsych eval i got for tbi complications and adhd confirmed autism at 20. i didn’t ask to be reevaluated, they just did it (which is kinda insulting but not the point of the post)
i am aware that there are people who are faking autism on tiktok because they believe it to be trendy.
it is not remotely trendy. but that is also not the point.
i don’t think we should be trying to expose fakers.
because when we try to evaluate who is a “real autistic” or a “fake autistic,” we rely on stereotypes.
we rely on age of diagnosis.
we rely on access to diagnosis (no, not everyone can afford healthcare)
we rely on outdated dsm criteria.
I’d rather allow people to fake autism than allow autistic people to be questioned every time we post about our neurotype.
theoretically, i am a believable autistic. diagnosed, diagnosed early, technically diagnosed twice. but my neurotype is constantly questioned.
because i am a girl. because i speak vocally. because I am talkative. because i have a public facing job. because i have a college degree. because i use public transit. because my special interests are conventional interests for people in my generation, like video games and youtubers. because i have friends. because i’ve had LTRs. because i’ve had sex. because i have a driver’s license. because i’ve been to parties. because I CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S FEELINGS (this is my least favorite one).
when you try to expose fakers, you are just reinforcing neurotypical beliefs about autistics.
Edit: since this post has been getting some traction w people who don’t know me or my views on autism, I’d like to add that it is completely fine if you fit stereotypical assumptions about autism. I fit some stereotypes as well. There is no wrong way to be autistic.
hey uh. don’t listen to the people who say the bullying won’t matter once you get out of school. because shit. it will.
bullying is peer abuse. it’s traumatizing. and while getting out of the environment helps, the hurt doesn’t go away. all the things ingrained in you don’t go away. just because your bullies might not be in your life doesn’t mean the awful things they did to you don’t matter. they are still very significant people in your life.
please don’t brush it off. please treat yourself with kindness and fight for the support and safety you deserve. you are not the person your bullies thought you were. you never were. you deserve to be happy and confident, and minimizing what happened won’t lead to that.
Leia is a 15 year old that is looking for validation from her friends at the start of the season, she was coddled by Eric and Donna all her life until she met this group of kids, she can grow a lot if they make other seasons and I think this show has great potential to explore all of the characters better and make them feel more real while still being a funny show, I think we can see some glimpses of seriousness already and I personally loved it, it felt familiar but new at the same time and it was able to make me love all of the new characters even with only this introduction
